How Do We Do Family Devotions?

Family devotions used to be a staple of Christian households. It was how parents raised their children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). It encouraged essential for intimacy in marriage, evangelization of lost neighbors, and naturally carried on the ministry of church. For centuries, Biblical Christians gathered together with their family and spend a few minutes devoted to the Lord together. Not so today, however. If you grew up in a family that did not regularly do family devotions, this can be a strange and, perhaps, awkward practice. Maybe you see the benefit of the practice, but you’re not sure how to go about it.

This post and the next will be on family devotions. At its most basic level, family devotions are made up of two components:

First, the Word of God - It consists of reading some part of Scripture. There should be some teaching component. We started by reading through Psalms with our children. I paused every few lines and try to connect the Psalm to my children’s experience in some way. The older my kids get, the more I encourage discussion and interaction. I sometimes give my kids one big word to look for in the text and emphasize it as we are reading through. Other sources are optional. Catechisms are a great idea. I love Kevin DeYoung’s the Biggest Story Bible (which has A LOT) of Scripture in it. The necessary thing, however, is the Word of God.

Second, prayer - This consists of prayer. The point of this is to encourage prayer in the life of everyone involved. In our house, we pray the Lord’s Prayer together. My kids join in to the best of their ability. We go slowly to help them memorize it. In the years to come, we’ll teach them how to pray more meatily using the Lord’s Prayer as a basic outline. But for now, we just want him to get the basics.

With our young children, the whole thing typically takes between 5–10 minutes. In the years to come, we will probably beef it up to 10–15 minutes. There are more things that we could add to this (and will), but family devotions are extraordinarily easy to do. You do not need a seminary degree. You do not need to have a lot of time. All you need is a Bible and the willingness to pray. This is one of the best “bang for your buck” practices in the Christian life. It takes a bit of discipline and willingness, but the benefits of this simple practice are hard to overestimate.

Here are a handful of tips for getting the most out of this:

First, family devotions should not replace personal and corporate time with the Lord. You are doing family devotions, in part, to help every participant (kids and parents like) feel more comfortable with the things of the Lord. But you still need to spend time with the Lord personally and corporately. You still need to get with the Lord in his Word and together with other Christians. In my experience, the practice of one will encourage the practice of the others.

Second, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Prioritize consistency over comprehensiveness. Start with something manageable. Fit it into the routines you already have. Read Scripture and pray for a few minutes at the end of dinner or before bedtime. I recommend 5–10 mins for younger kids and 10–15 for older.

Third, this is not only for couples with young kids. If you are a single person, a parent of older children, or a young couple, this is still for you. I would try to fit something like this into time that you spend with others. If you have others over for dinner, ask if you can spend a few minutes in Scripture and prayer together. While this is particularly important for families with young children, this is something that benefits all people.

Fourth, incentivize. I typically read a few pages out of another book with my kids such as Narnia, the Tolkien Canon, or Pilgrim’s Progress after family devotions. They love this. If they misbehave during devotions, however, then we will not read this before they go to sleep. It’s a small step, but it motivates them try to stay calm.

Fifth, manage patience and discipline. It is often hard for young kids to sit still. Be patient with them. On the other hand, when they’re intentionally being disruptive and bouncing around, discipline them. Be patient, on the one hand, but firm on the other. In every situation, you want them to pay attention to what you’re reading in Scripture and praying.

Sixth, encourage participation. Let your kids pray with you. If they ask questions, pause and give an answer. Ask them questions. Connect the Bible to their experience. They should not be passive watchers, but active participants.

Seventh, find the time that works best for you. Right now with our schedule and routine, it works best to do it right after dinner, but we used to do it before we put the kids to bed. Historically, Christians have done this at the end of mealtime. Some folks do this when they are all together in the morning. I can say with confidence: You will have to make time for this, but it is time worth making.